I never considered that having children would completely change my life. In bringing these amazing beings into the world, my existence was forever changed. Before, it felt like there was purpose, but it was untrue and incomplete.
I never paid much attention to my finances. There were a few times when money was pretty tight – as in rolling coins to pay rent. Otherwise, I worked, paid bills, and used the credit cards. The summer before I started graduate school, we both worked a second job to “get ahead.” But the intent was only to carry us through the next couple of years. I assumed, naïvely, that the income earned with my advanced degree would dispel all our financial worries. I never took the time to do the research or calculations.
I never gave much thought to choosing a career that would be personally fulfilling. Instead, my focus was on — well, I’m not sure what I was thinking at that point. There was an expectation that I go to college, graduate school, and then, work. It would have been a good idea to do some shadowing and research into my options.
I never considered that there may be alternatives to working 40 hours a week until old age.
While it is gratifying to start relying on new priorities and planning for a better future, I have a lot of catching up to do. It will be hard work, but I try to view this journey as my penance for years of unquestioning conformity.
