Mainstream Family Fun Does NOT Have To Be Expensive

There are certain activities that seem “normal” for all middle-class families. One example is the typical childhood trip to Disney. A good parent is expected to work hard so that their children can experience this American rites of passage. To skip out on such excursions surely would prompt suspicions from friends and neighbors about both your finances and priorities. While Disney is very expensive and only an infrequent option for most, there are many other family excursions that more regularly fill a parent with guilt. Advertising and peer-pressure consumerism make you feel guilty if you have to admit that your child has never been here or there. Other parents will tell you about the memberships that they’ve purchases for the zoo or a children’s museum. But it doesn’t stop there. There is also a message that it’s not even enough to pay for admission – in order for your child to have the “full experience” they need a souvenir, themed food and beverages, backstage passes, etc. It’s one thing to spend money to do something special with your kids, but there’s an expectation of parents to spend as much as they can in order to provide an enriching childhood.

We have spent many weekends in our house this winter, especially during the last month. Mr. Smith was rolling change when he happened to come across a bunch of tokens for one of those loud and crazy places for kids to play games and eat pizza. We decided to take our little ones with the hope that they could work off some of their pent-up energy. The plan worked: they had plenty of fun and required extra-long naps that afternoon. Goofball was really good at a water squirting game, most likely due to uncanny focus. Tornando spent a lot of time on the playground for little ones and liked the mechanical horse ride. She did amazingly well at throwing footballs and was laughing the entire time. Mr. Smith loves arcade games and I could tell that he was enjoying playing games with Goofball. Now that the little guy is approaching five years old, the two of them can actually play as a team, as opposed to Daddy doing most of the work while he merely has his hands on the controller or gun. It was adorable watching them get so excited and encourage each other with tips on where to watch for the next bad guy.

The tokens were left over from a trip we made last year. On that last trip we did the “full experience.” We bought the expensive package with a pizza, carbonated beverages, trips to the salad bar, and a bunch of tokens. This year, however, I was struck by the huge amount of money being spent by everyone around me. They were all eating the food. There were several birthday parties with super-fancy cakes, giant balloons, and party favors. One of the parties was for a little boy who was turning one-year old. Really?!? He certainly doesn’t need that professional cake, or three giant character balloons (I unfortunately know from experience they cost almost $10 each). And he really doesn’t need a party here of all places, where he’s too young to play any games and he can’t even wander around without being trampled by the hyped-up older kids.

This year, as our perspective has changed, we ate lunch at home before heading out. We didn’t need to buy any tokens, and the kids were just fine leaving with souvenirs limited to a few tootsie rolls and some stickers after redeeming tickets earned at the games. The wastefulness was stifling even when we went to redeem our tickets for a couple of prizes. The Dad in front of us in line paid the difference between the tickets his kids earned and the cost of the bigger prizes on the wall. The first one got a stuffed animal for $9. The other one was pouting and couldn’t figure out what she wanted, so he chose for her, a $15 gumball machine. The thing about his purchase that seemed so odd, was that the kids didn’t seem that excited about their new toys. Dad seemed to be spending money purely out of a sense of obligation. How much did their afternoon cost? I won’t dare to total it up. We only spent the cost of gas to drive there.

I remember taking Goofball to see Sesame Street Live a few years ago. We went with his daycare, so our tickets were purchased at a reduced-rate. We brought a snack to eat during intermission.  Everything was going well, until we couldn’t help but notice all of the other kids had these spinning light-up toys. He saw the bright, fun pieces of plastic with a certain red character on top and asked for one. They were about ten bucks each. I decided, after serious debate, to not buy one. Goofball eventually returned his attention back to the show, but it would be a lie to say that I didn’t feel a little guilty. It’s easier now, when I realize that it would have ended up being another random toy, neglected at the bottom of his toy box. But it’s harder in the moment, when other parents carelessly spend money on needless junk, and sad little eyes beckon for a reason why they don’t deserve that enticing thing.

When we go to the zoo, we make sure to bring our lunch, snacks, and plenty of water. However, saving money goes beyond the food and choosing not to purchase the extra stuff, it’s also about planning ahead. Check Groupon, look other places for coupons, and investigate different promotions.  Ask for gift certificates or memberships instead of presents at birthdays and the holidays.  Family activities tend to be most expensive when you make a spur of the moment decision to do something. All of a sudden you realize there is nothing to make lunches with, so you buy something to eat at your destination. Don’t have any sunscreen? Better grab an expensive bottle at the gas station. Didn’t think about filling up water bottles at home? You better stop and buy some of those too. Another part of the problem is overlooking the free opportunities to have fun. Try out different playgrounds. Look for community activities. Go visit a friend who has a farm.

Raising kids can expensive, but it doesn’t have to be. You can choose to be a conscious consumer. As with everything else, frugality comes with not just blindly believing that you should spend money on certain things. Advertising is intended to make you feel like you’re living a deprived existence. Its effect is even worse on parents. The guilt manifests itself through subliminal messaging that if you really loved your kids, if you really wanted them to be happy, then you would spend more money to prove it. It is possible to partake in mainstream family activities and still be frugal. Plan ahead, focus on the true objective, and enjoy; don’t be fooled into supplementing your fun with unnecessary expenditures.