Fight Club was a good movie, at least that’s how I remember it. The book is on my to-read list, but I’ve put off reading it due to some apprehension that the message will be overwhelmingly rational in light of my new priorities. Last summer was spent gazing out an office window feeling depressed and lost. These days I’m outside in the sun with my family, admiring unobstructed blue sky and pearly clouds.
It’s like waking up from a nightmare where nonsensical rules control and trap you in some terrifying situation. I used to think that there was no other choice. This was life – work, buy stuff, pay bills, and cram the good stuff into weekends and vacations. Try to save a little bit of money so that you can rest when you get old.
I’m so thankful for my new ability to see beyond this contrived existence. My new purpose is to create more opportunity to enjoy life NOW. More and more, I find myself reflecting on how wonderful life is this summer. I’m living the dreams that tortured me while trapped in an office last year. We play outside in the fresh air, accompanied by birds, rabbits, frogs, and butterflies. I hug my children tight and inhale their perfect bouquet of sunshine and dirt. This is what I’m working for now. I don’t need a new car, my clothes are just fine, the diaper bag is my purse, and the only jewelry that I wear are wedding rings.
There are only a few weeks left of my maternity leave. I could allow myself to be depressed that this precious time with my family will soon come to an end. However, I’m choosing to find inspiration in the possibility of future opportunities to enjoy such freedom. We still have a long way to go, but this ambition is actually worth the effort, in comparison to a corner office or various material things that we are supposed to covet. I am going back to work to fight our debt, so we can focus on living according to our own priorities. There’s no time to waste on chasing frivolous goals.
“This is your life. And it’s ending one minute at a time.” (Chuck Palahniuk – Fight Club)
What are you fighting for?
