As you formulate new strategies in life, priorities start to shift. Much like a line of dominoes, things that you held to be absolute truth for decades of your life can suddenly be thrown out the window. I always believed that I would freely pay any expense we could afford in order to provide my children with advantages for succeeding in life, especially when it came to education. Yet, over the past few years, I’ve been questioning many of my ideals previously thought of as sacred and automatic. The most recent one has been whether my children need an expensive education.
We moved into our current house back at the end of 2011, when I was pregnant with Tornado. We had been living in a one bedroom cape and assumed we would need a bigger house with two children. Mr. Smith suggested a nice, three bedroom house, that was down the street from his father. We had been looking at houses in school districts with best rankings, but there were very few choices in our price range. I liked this house a lot, so I agreed to the purchase with one caveat: we would move before Goofball started second grade, to a better school district.
My father was a teacher. He fought tirelessly for my siblings and I to receive a quality education. We moved around a lot during my middle school years, in part due to the fact that no school lived up to his standards. I remember attending school board meetings and hearing discussions about heterogeneous versus homogeneous groupings, and advanced programs. I even attended a “semi-private” school at one point, which required a certain IQ in order to attend and included grades 2 through 12 (as I recall, it was pretty strange school). I learned that only the best was good enough when it came to education.
It’s not surprising that after becoming a mom, I wanted my own children to go to the top-ranked schools. I never really saw the need to pay for private school, when there were great public school systems. It just made sense that you would make sure to buy a house in one of the top districts. However, these areas tend to have over-priced homes and high taxes. Although you might not be paying a tuition bill, you’re still spending money for a better education. We will be hard-pressed to find a house that fits with our long-term plan for semi-retirement in one of the really good school districts.
These doubts about the value of superior formative education have been subconsciously pulling at me for some time now, but they really emerged when I was reading about the homestead just purchased by Mr. and Mrs. Frugalwoods. She mentioned the school system, but not in too much detail. Mrs. Frugalwoods definitely did not say that the location of their dream home was dependent on finding the absolute best-ranked school district and living in its borders. Instead, she told readers of her vision of children playing in the woods and eating fresh apples from the trees on their 66 acres of land. I share her desire for a relaxed, rural upbringing for our children. I have started to allow myself to question the idea that only the best education is good enough, and it is slowly been fading from my core values.
Another issue with moving into the more affluent neighborhood is that there will be more children who are spoiled. It’s unavoidable. The majority of parents with high incomes will spend money on their kids. I wonder about the classmates in Goofball’s future high school. Will they have nice cars, designer clothes, and spending money? I am raising him to eschew consumerism as much as possible, or at least be more conscious about spending than the average American. I worry about the effect of exposing him to others who are immersed in a culture of spending, especially with all of the other stressors of those teenage years.
They may not really need a perfect education after all. If parents are engaged and take the time to work with their kids to supplement their training at school, I’m starting to believe they can obtain an excellent education, regardless of the district. We will have extra time thanks to early semi-retirement, which we can invest in our children’s education. They will learn a lot on our big road trip as we visit historical sites and national parks across the country. The school district rankings are based on many different factors, which don’t necessary indicate the top-ranked school is best in every subject and for every student. Parents can address most shortcomings and provide real world teachings to their children.
I’m even starting to question the value of college, to an extent. There has always been encouragement to attend college, because it’s the way to get a good-paying job. But here’s the thing: I don’t want my kids to spend their lives working. I want them to focus on family, worthwhile pursuits, and amazing experiences. I don’t want them amassing huge students loans just because they follow the standard, recommended path of life.
The normally cited figure is that the average college-educated individual is supposed to earn an additional one million dollars over their lifetime, as opposed to someone without a college education. It may sound like a lot, but that amount is calculated over a normal working life, something I definitely hope my children are able to avoid. What if the million dollars is spread out over 40 years? That’s only an extra $25,000 per year, and it makes sense that the amount would start lower and increase over time. I found this statistic:
“College graduates aged 25 to 32 who are working full time earn about $17,500 more annually than their peers who have only a high school diploma.” The Economist
Yet, the average debt of graduates with a undergraduate degree is over $35,000. Wall Street Journal
It may sound reasonable then, to pay that amount as an investment in your earning potential. But, who pays off that debt immediately after graduation? You have to figure in the interest costs – which are currently at 6.8%
I found a pretty interesting study about the true cost of a college education, which included a handy little calculator. It tells me that if you have the average amount of $35,000 in student loans, with 6.8% interest, paid back over ten years, that degree will cost you $48,334. Looking back at the increased earning potential in early adulthood, you will lose the equivalent of all of your extra income costs for almost three years.
There’s also this study that shows how each dollar of student loans sets you back 35 cents in retirement savings.
The retirement savings of my children is a pretty remote issue as compared to which elementary school they should attend, but it’s another element essential to enabling a better future for them. I understand that my own problem was going to college just because it was the normal thing to do. And then I went on to graduate school, for a paycheck – I did not follow any passions; the sole purpose was to increase my income. The result is my tens of thousands of dollars in student loans, costing me interest every single day, while I work at a demanding, unenjoyable job.
Even with a shortened work life, it probably still makes sense to attend college. I will definitely encourage my kids to save up money for tuition, work part-time jobs (just like I did), and attend public schools. We do plan to invest some money for them to use towards building a life – whether it’s applied towards education, buying a home, or something else. It just seems like there are so many different options these days for work that doesn’t require a specialized degree. The best approach may be to recommend they just attend college courses of interest, instead of fulfilling general education requirements of a any one degree. They could focus on the skills important to their goals and enjoy some of the college experience.
For now, we are going to stay put in our more-than-sufficient home, in the mediocre school district. Our future will likely lead us to purchase a different property, but I no longer feel constrained to searching in only the top-ranked areas. I take the education of my children very seriously, but there is more to learning than what is taught through the structured curriculum of the schools. As parents, we have a responsibility to fill in many gaps, including how to be responsible with money. I am optimistic that, with some help, our kids will approach life with a better perspective on money, priorities, material possessions, work, and creating a unique life.
Your post so resonated with me. I have the same thoughts, as both my parents were teachers and my husband is a public high school teacher. I went to a a public school until the last 2 years when we moved to London.
I admittedly did consider the school catchment area when we purchased our house, but along with affordability, location, size of the home etc.
Already other parents are asking where we will send our kids to high school – they are only 6 and 7 now. When I say the plan at this stage is the local public high school) and they look at me in shock, as if I am killing them! And we live in good area.
The research I’ve read is that the best predictor of ‘school success’ is socio-economics of the parents, and whether the parents value education. And the private schools and good public school results are mainly a reflection of the socio-economic factors of the parents.
In saying that, as you point out ‘school success’ is not the be all and end all. I want my kids to be happy, well-rounded, confident, worldly, content, creative beings.
From a purely financial point of view, I could also ‘invest’ in passive index funds for them, or give them a house deposit, or give them seed funding for a business.
BTW cute pic 🙂
It’s good to hear that there are other predictors of success in school – it confirms my idea that parental involvement is really important as well. The fact that we’re taking the time to consider what’s really the best for them demonstrates our engagement in their education, as opposed to just assuming they will be all set if we purchase a house in the best school district.
And thanks <3 he was a little overwhelmed by all of the people.
Hi Harmony- wonderful article. I really enjoy your blog (found it via the Frugalwoods)
Such an interesting dilemma. I do think it’s important to have at least a decent school district if you are not planning to homeschool (I would be the worst homeschool parent- not in my skill set)
I do think there is much to be said for the stimulating environment you create at home (limited screen time, lots if access to books (library is fine), music (radio) and the arts (even musicals or plays on DVD for people who might not have access to /afford local theater). Important are patents who model good coping mechanisms, conflict resolution, creativity, problem solving, and foster a general love of learning. All of these things are an invaluable supplement to classroom education.
I do also think travel is an invaluable teacher.
We moved out of the Philadelphia school district before we adopted our son. We narrowed it down to two school districts- one that was “the best” ( with escalated housing prices to match, a more snooty environment, hyper competitive parents- both academic and material focused) and a slightly lower performing (but still very solid) district with more diversity, a nice community feel, less exotic $70k cars, yet parents who were very involved and down to earth. Plus the house prices were more reasonable.
We chose the “second tier” district and bought a nice (not extravagant house) and paid off our mortgage in 10 years.
We have been very happy with the school district ( educational quality, teacher and parent involvement). No regrets!
I’m sure you’ll make the right decision for your family!
I hate to stereotype more-affluent neighborhoods, but it’s the honest truth: more money = more “snooty” people. I’m sure there are a few who are somewhat frugal, or maybe even a Mustachian here or there, but the schools will be filled with kids who have been taught very different standards when it comes to money. When you combine the effect of the rampant consumerism and higher cost of living, it just makes more sense to live in a different area, especially with our commitment to being involved in their education and providing any necessary supplementation.
I really like your point about how “The best approach may be to recommend they just attend college courses of interest, instead of fulfilling general education requirements of a any one degree.” I am a college educator and to me, choice is so important for motivation and enjoyment.
Many students come to college thinking that going to college is about getting a good job–and it can be. College can also be a great growing experience. It was transformative for me. It helped me determine how I want to live my life. That said, many other experiences and people also helped me determine how I want to live my life today, and I believe there are sooooooooooooooooooooo many ways to learn–both inside and outside the classroom.
Thanks for your input as a college educator. Education can be so much more than just checking the boxes on the standard to-do list. I really just want my kids to live a purposeful life, making their own decisions about everything.
I was fortunate to have gone to school for free. Even with I got my MBA, I was also fortunate to have only spent a couple of thousand dollars (around $5,000 or less).
While I believe that education is really important, I don’t believe that going to a top school isn’t really a requirement to make it big. I am saying this based on my experience. I am currently working for an agency with people who graduated from top schools. When I say, top schools I mean like Harvard and Yale. Of course, our pay are almost similar because we follow pay standard regardless of what school you go to.
I think that a great education doesn’t need to be an expensive one. I believe that in order to gain a lot of education one has to dedicate his time studying and learning. I say learning because there are so many things one can learn in school both academic and non-academic, which are vital to the next phase, that is, working in the real world.
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My husband always talks about how he has “real-world knowledge” and I have a lot more “book smarts.” Not everything can be learned in school.
Fortunately for me, I never even considered going to a private college. Who knows what the balance of my student loans would be right now?!
I don’t have kids but I would like to in the future. I knew that I would never be able to afford to buy in an area with good high schools. I’m not so worried about primary school, etc – and there are some perfectly fine ones in my neighbourhood. But when I do have kids and they get to their teens I’m not keen on them going to the local high school. I see tons of kids on the train in the morning travelling to better schools in other suburbs. Ah well. A bridge to cross later, I guess.
I don’t think every child should be directed towards a 4-year degree because of the rapidly rising costs. Every child should get post-secondary training of some sort whether it’s tech school, community college, or an undergraduate, but more emphasis needs to be placed on passion & talents.
I graduated a public, in-state college in 2008 that cost $60,000 (I had $50k in loans). Today it would cost me $100,000 for the same 4-year liberal arts degree before any scholarships or financial aid. I can buy a new family car or the down payment for a house with the $40,000 difference that present college students will have to give to a university instead.
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